Samaritan Snare

I got kicked out of Samaritans.

What kind of an idiot - what kind of a monster gets kicked out of Samaritans?

There was a young lad who joined Samaritans. He was being mentored by one of the other listeners. I'd been made aware of him because he was something different. Something special, I thought. He was a Muslim and Muslims were not that fond of the Samaritans. We'd had phone calls from Muslims saying how filthy white women were and other such vile things. So I thought, this young lad could bridge a gap. I was hopeful.

One day, I think it was a Saturday; in fact, I'm sure it was a Saturday because I was due to go on a date afterwards with a person with whom I'm still friends (we actually chatted last night for the first time in a while). Well, I was on duty, and so was the young Muslim lad. I was looking forward to getting to know him.

During the shift, we took some calls together and I let him listen in. He was very quiet. I asked him questions about the calls, but he had little to say about them. Surprisingly little.

I asked him about his personal life and he told me it was his birthday soon. His 18th birthday. I asked him excitedly what he had planned. Not much came his reply. I asked if he was getting a new watch or a new whatever. No, he replied, "I don't really care about material possessions."

If this lad was a woman, I think I would've proposed marriage on the spot. Not because I like cheap women, but the fact he saw past the material world was a refreshing change and greatly so in someone so young.

The day went well, but it was only later that it came back to me what the only thing he'd wanted to know was. What was the bomb alert procedure.

I kept thinking over and over, why would this be the ONLY thing he'd wanted to know all day? The ONLY thing.

I phoned one of the more experienced (two actually) Samaritans and asked them what they thought. We should probably tell the director, they said. So they told the director.

I thought about what had happened more and more. He was Muslim, he cared nothing for material possessions, he is only curious about the bomb procedure, Muslims wiped out the Samaritan religion a millennium earlier and fundamentalist Muslims are still at war with the Samaritans.

A week later and I asked my friend what the director had said to her when she told her about the incident. She said the director didn't think we should worry about it.

Having 14 years of RAF experience behind me, I wasn't going to take this as an answer. I contacted the director myself and asked what was going to happen. If they were going to investigate it further. She said she'd actually put it to central office and they said to take no further action. I asked if I could go to the police and ask them a general question about terrorist safety. She asked central office and they said if I did, I would be dismissed from Samaritans.

I couldn't believe it. It was as though they'd had their balls removed and shoved down their throat till they'd choked and become mute.

About a week later, the director phoned me to ask if we could talk about what had happened. I was eager to. I wanted to tell them exactly what had happened so we could discuss it further.

When I arrived, I was expecting that the other Samaritan who'd been on duty with me that day would be there, so we could get to the bottom of it. She wasn't. The director, being a shifty cow, and being someone who would get through half a sentence because she couldn't commit to the end of it, hoping you would finish it for her, then she could hide behind your words till later:
"well, I didn't say that. You said that. Not me."
She said it was just her, a witness and me.

I couldn't believe it. The meeting wasn't about what had actually happened that day like she'd allowed me to allow myself to believe, but it was about if I was a racist.

I was not pleased. I told her how sneaky that had been to let me think it was about finding out more about what could be a serious, and very real security problem, rather than them trying to subversively find out if I had a problem with Muslims. She could see I was not pleased, and, like a Samaritan would do, asked me how I was feeling.

I told her I was pissed off, is how I was feeling. I told her how disappointed with her I was and why she was allowing it to just fritter away. But she wanted to know if I had a problem with Muslims. I put all the evidence to her and asked if she didn't think I was right to be suspicious. She asked, if the lad hadn't been Muslim, would I still have had my worries.

Of course not, I said. It's only Muslims who are blowing things up and threatening the West. It wasn't a Christian or Jew thing. I told her, when I was in the RAF, if someone with an Irish accent was asking me about bomb procedures and that man was a Catholic, I'd put it straight to my Commanding Officer. If I didn't put it to my C/O, I would be disciplined for not doing so.

But she liked to think that I'd been racist.

I walked out in the end.

A few months later, I told her I was still upset with her for this. Long story short, she dismissed me from Samaritan duties and the reason logged would be that I was racist. So that was nice to hear.

Well, you know, being a Samaritan, we only had to do one shift a week, but I did two or three every week. I did every night - every night over Christmas and New Year 2010 and spared so many other volunteers from having to leave their families by doing so. No thanks for that.

I still miss helping people and really miss the Samaritans. I'm so sorry to say this (really), but what a snivelling fucking cunt that bitch was.