A Want of My Own

Like drowning in a lake of tears that never fall,

I snatch for breaths stolen from me.

I suck fiercely at hard liquid
And pungent air

Heavy in my chest
Air that gags me, a palm on my lips

Strong. As I score their flesh for release

My plea is met with disdain

My face pushed further down

And I panic now as I see the end

Closer, closer as the walls close in

My struggles pulse against my ribs
The drumming in my head

Sliding stars and the colour of blood before my eyes

I need to be free to break free of this force

That is holding me in place

And the gaze pressing on me

Controlling me
Keeping everything from me that I need

That I want

That I yearn
To hold and embrace as my own.

I scream inside and want to draw that life into me.

But it isn’t mine

No more

And I must go.