Saturday 23 May 2015

No One To Tell

I don't know if I've written this before or if it's just that I think it so much that I imagine I've written it before.
I do things... things happen to me or just happen in my life and I feel the urge to tell someone I love (or tell someone who loves me) about it. I usually think that person is my dad. Then after a moment it occurs to me that I can't tell my dad. And I can't tell anyone else. I can't share it with anyone else because I have no friends. There's no one who cares. No one who wants me talking to them. You know?
[nods head and waits for something interesting]
I get this feeling quite often. And I have no one to talk to about it quite often. It's a difficult place to be where you have no one to talk to. No one who cares that I'm doing well in university or who cares that I've written a screenplay- six screenplays, or a novel. A fucking novel. I've written a novel and no one gives a shit. Every single person I've told about my novel has reacted like this: [nods head and waits for something to make that news something special].
"I've written a novel."
"Oh my god. A novel? You mean like a book?"
"Yeah."
"A full book?"
"Yeah."
"Oh my god, that's incredible!"
Yeah, I get none of that. If I had my dad or someone who cared about me I'd get something positive back.
Six screenplays.
A novel.
Short stories.
Fan fiction.
Poetry.
[nods head. anything else...?]