Monday 10 November 2014

My Ode to the Girl in the Creative Practice Seminar

Turning her pen, eyes stare distantly.
She runs a finger through her hair, her ear exposed.
I glance, it's hard not to stare when it brings me such joy
To see her face and she smiles in that moment
Causing a drum roll within my chest.
She raises her gaze, a furrowed brow in concentration,
Lips pursed. I look away and replay the moment.

She scribbles in her book and I wonder...
I mean, it's not about me, but I want to know
What's inside her. To know her. To understand her.
It's beautiful what makes people tick
And to know what makes them insecure,
If you'll allow me, so I can offer a shoulder,
Or more?

Like warm ocean waters, her voice washes over me.
The echo of her words beats down on me,
Her radiance, I worship (just a little for now).
I want to speak, to say I agree, or tell her she's wrong
Maybe. Affectionately.
But such things are easily broken. When you're clumsy.
Like a boy who wants to pull at her tenderly,
But only pushes her away with fledgling fervour.

We smile. Me at her. Her at another.
Her eyes have never held my reflection.
I wonder how my name sounds
If she sighed it.
Is there a day when I'll have her to myself?
I'm patient. I can wait for her.
But my reticence tortures me fiercely.

I want to make her laugh.
I want her to look at me and see something good.
I want to turn to her. Say hello, but my voice stays.
I want to reach out a hand.
That's a choice that'll never be made.

I know you'll be looking. Now.
Too late for redaction.
I hear a tremble in my voice and pray it's just in my head
As you listen. And watch me. Not knowing
If my song is for you, till I say your name.

And I remember right then in a moment of clarity
It isn't Creative Practice at all it's Drama you fool
The girl she's in my Drama Seminar.

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